I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
