batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize