I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
