He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
