his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
