I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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