There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
