Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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