Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
