I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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