You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
