She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
