I'll bet she douches with gravy.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
