Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
