Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
