At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Houston, we have a blender
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
