Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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