i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
