By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your penis caused this!
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