I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize