I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
