what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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