last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
