mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
