Me too!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize