You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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