Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
