let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
