Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
