I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
