were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize