Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
