you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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