This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize