if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
