I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
