dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize