Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
