if you like me you must not know who I am
What a fucking waste of an outfit
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
