I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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