I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
