We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
