he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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