i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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