If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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