before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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