It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
