OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
