Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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