i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
