I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think I died a long time ago.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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