I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize