He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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