I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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