She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
