So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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