i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
