You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
