Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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