I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I could fuck to npr.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
