Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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