I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
