so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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