I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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