How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
