The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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